Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
