I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
