It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Randomize