I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
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We left an ass print on the piano.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
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