My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
ok first of all what the fuck
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
