You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
God I need to hump something, right now.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Randomize
