So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
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