The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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