It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
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