If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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