and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
When are your genitals available?
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
there is puke in my bra ... again
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize
