I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Randomize
