I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
Randomize
