My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
Randomize
