I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Randomize
