I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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