I feel great
I just peed on a car
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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