I'm really into asian looking animals
Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Randomize
