Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
Randomize
