I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
whose parrot is this?
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
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