Duck Duck Cougar?
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
Life without a bra equals bliss.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
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