I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
