no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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