You smell like stripper and shame
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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