matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
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