fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
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