they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
