Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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