bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
He shit in the fireplace
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Randomize
