This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
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