It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
Randomize
