I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize