Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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