Me too!
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
Randomize
