So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize
