a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Randomize
