its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
I thought I drunk dialed Adam last night and left him a voicemail. I just checked my phone. I realize I left a drunk voicemail with my son's teacher.
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
17 of the Dumbest Defenses Heard in Court
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
These 19 Ladies Love Pegging Their Men
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.