Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(616): View more from Michigan

its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true

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(517): View more from Michigan

I thought I drunk dialed Adam last night and left him a voicemail. I just checked my phone. I realize I left a drunk voicemail with my son's teacher.

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(951): View more from California

yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.

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(570): View more from Pennsylvania

how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?

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17 of the Dumbest Defenses Heard in Court
Read it at the TFLN blog
(904): View more from Florida

I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.

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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."

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(210): View more from Texas

She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"

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(708): View more from Illinois

Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid

(1-708): View more from Illinois

I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.

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(256): View more from Alabama

I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.

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