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• (973): View more from New Jersey

  Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.

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• (305): View more from Florida

  If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there

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• (828): View more from North Carolina

  finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...

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• (360): View more from Washington

  While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.

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  Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags

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• (262): View more from Wisconsin

  How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"

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• (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.

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• (585): View more from New York

  The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.

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• (515): View more from Iowa

  we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar

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• (207): View more from Maine

  Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.

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  21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers

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• (262): View more from Wisconsin

  Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.

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• (405): View more from Oklahoma

  And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.

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• (986): View more from

  He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?

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• (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.

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• (217): View more from Illinois

  Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude

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• (918): View more from Oklahoma

  I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.

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