Texts From Last Night

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  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  I'm starting a business if you want to get involved

  (1-781): View more from Massachusetts

  oh boy

  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings

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  (781): I'm starting a business if you want to get involved (1-781): oh boy (781): Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings http://tfl.nu/e1eb
  Replies (21) Good night (2998) Bad night (512)
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  (336): View more from North Carolina

  he said i'm too pretty to suck penis

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  (336): he said i'm too pretty to suck penis http://tfl.nu/wzvb
  Replies (99) Good night (13803) Bad night (1738)
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  (919): View more from North Carolina

  guys are only as good as the porn they watch

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  (919): guys are only as good as the porn they watch http://tfl.nu/x0jq
  Replies (71) Good night (4021) Bad night (1238)
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  (803): View more from South Carolina

  so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.

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  (803): so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal. http://tfl.nu/ov2w
  Replies (61) Good night (921) Bad night (6516)
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  (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.

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  (484): The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit. http://tfl.nu/31my
  Replies (18) Good night (776) Bad night (3925)
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  (276): View more from Virginia

  You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.

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  (276): You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat. http://tfl.nu/s2nm
  Replies (6) Good night (2269) Bad night (716)
• Favorite

  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.

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  (508): I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right. http://tfl.nu/agio
  Replies (5) Good night (1528) Bad night (706)
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  (410): View more from Maryland

  I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.

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  (410): I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful. http://tfl.nu/rt55
  Replies (5) Good night (476) Bad night (1778)
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  (524): View more from

  I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.

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  (524): I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex. http://tfl.nu/y2h0
  Replies (6) Good night (329) Bad night (1590)
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  (614): View more from Ohio

  you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me

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  (614): you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me http://tfl.nu/5ifz
  Replies (4) Good night (590) Bad night (345)
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  (914): View more from New York

  I had to rip your toilet paper for you...

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  (914): I had to rip your toilet paper for you... http://tfl.nu/xdup
  Replies (3) Good night (508) Bad night (740)
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  (909): View more from California

  Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.

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  (909): Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now. http://tfl.nu/xh05
  Replies (1) Good night (670) Bad night (288)
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"

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  (703): Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole" http://tfl.nu/nmmt
  Replies (2) Good night (306) Bad night (646)
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  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...

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  (603): Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume... http://tfl.nu/4fod
  Replies (3) Good night (378) Bad night (333)
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  (361): View more from Texas

  I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...

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  (361): I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time... http://tfl.nu/xkbo
  Replies (1) Good night (601) Bad night (245)

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