Texts From Last Night

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  (206): View more from Washington

  This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.

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  (206): This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it. http://tfl.nu/dmrx
  Replies (13) Good night (1918) Bad night (583)
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  (915): View more from Texas

  After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.

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  (915): After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't. http://tfl.nu/4b73
  Replies (19) Good night (699) Bad night (2867)
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  (404): View more from Georgia

  don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts

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  (404): don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts http://tfl.nu/dnse
  Replies (13) Good night (4253) Bad night (1125)
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  (949): View more from California

  I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.

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  (949): I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation. http://tfl.nu/8430
  Replies (23) Good night (5964) Bad night (764)
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  (541): View more from Oregon

  I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with

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  (541): I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with http://tfl.nu/nhts
  Replies (41) Good night (2120) Bad night (4872)
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  (425): View more from Washington

  This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son

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  (425): This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son http://tfl.nu/qxal
  Replies (7) Good night (1003) Bad night (2876)
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  (408): View more from California

  He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this

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  (408): He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this http://tfl.nu/m93u
  Replies (4) Good night (779) Bad night (3791)
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  (937): View more from Ohio

  She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.

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  (937): She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable. http://tfl.nu/xs8x
  Replies (10) Good night (2820) Bad night (1172)
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  (904): View more from Florida

  Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.

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  (904): Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically. http://tfl.nu/529h
  Replies (6) Good night (1504) Bad night (836)
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  (513): View more from Ohio

  4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.

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  (513): 4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of. http://tfl.nu/69sj
  Replies (11) Good night (2826) Bad night (777)
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  (213): View more from California

  Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??

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  (213): Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast?? http://tfl.nu/wkuh
  Replies (25) Good night (3681) Bad night (1230)
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  (573): View more from Missouri

  Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?

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  (573): Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk? http://tfl.nu/c8sl
  Replies (24) Good night (2450) Bad night (708)
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5

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  (+44): i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5 http://tfl.nu/ljio
  Replies (14) Good night (2890) Bad night (774)
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.

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  (248): For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance. http://tfl.nu/b72j
  Replies (5) Good night (856) Bad night (582)
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  (512): View more from Texas

  dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts

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  (512): dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts http://tfl.nu/md3j
  Replies (2) Good night (640) Bad night (447)

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