Texts From Last Night

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  (651): View more from Minnesota

  By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.

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  (651): By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend. http://tfl.nu/hsj3
  Replies (14) Good night (869) Bad night (1815)
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  (231): View more from Michigan

  My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.

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  (231): My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride. http://tfl.nu/hbyc
  Replies (22) Good night (858) Bad night (4416)
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  (512): View more from Texas

  At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."

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  (512): At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'." http://tfl.nu/z1xk
  Replies (21) Good night (6211) Bad night (767)
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  (636): View more from Missouri

  Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.

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  (636): Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half. http://tfl.nu/fs6e
  Replies (83) Good night (22673) Bad night (1119)
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  (714): View more from California

  So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.

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  (714): So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life. http://tfl.nu/wgtn
  Replies (32) Good night (1120) Bad night (5726)
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  (904): View more from Florida

  I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.

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  (904): I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck. http://tfl.nu/gj91
  Replies (23) Good night (1562) Bad night (4745)
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back

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  (610): advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back http://tfl.nu/339g
  Replies (13) Good night (3982) Bad night (1345)
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  (513): View more from Ohio

  walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am

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  (513): walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am http://tfl.nu/e35n
  Replies (13) Good night (3695) Bad night (1001)
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  (816): View more from Missouri

  Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.

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  (816): Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes. http://tfl.nu/7aqq
  Replies (2) Good night (3361) Bad night (824)
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  (816): View more from Missouri

  we didnt even have break up sex...

  (1-816): View more from Missouri

  you had it for us with someone else...

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  (816): we didnt even have break up sex... (1-816): you had it for us with someone else... http://tfl.nu/e06z
  Replies (18) Good night (1977) Bad night (6723)
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  (706): View more from Georgia

  Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.

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  (706): Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with. http://tfl.nu/r42s
  Replies (13) Good night (2736) Bad night (638)
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder

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  (503): Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder http://tfl.nu/i6jl
  Replies (8) Good night (952) Bad night (438)
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  (585): View more from New York

  If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.

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  (585): If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang. http://tfl.nu/cb2r
  Replies (5) Good night (807) Bad night (405)
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  (585): View more from New York

  AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?

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  (585): AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!? http://tfl.nu/66pr
  Replies (1) Good night (531) Bad night (261)
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  (606): View more from Kentucky

  When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.

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  (606): When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up. http://tfl.nu/8sfz
  Replies (3) Good night (808) Bad night (334)

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