no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
21 Of The Most Regrettable Tattoo Ideas Ever
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
These 25 People Had Very Inappropriate Sexual Relations(hips)
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray