if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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