PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
Randomize
