No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
Randomize
