I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
MIDGETS
????
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
I deserve this hangover.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
