When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
