dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Randomize
