My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
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