My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
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