12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
Randomize
