I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
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