This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize
