do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
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