Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
nutella sex= disaster
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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