I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
Your mouth is God's brothel.
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
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