'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
