some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
People with herpes should wear stickers.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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