I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
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we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
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If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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