if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
