you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
