I'm jealous of your bromance
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
