Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Randomize